Broken
by underworldromantic
Summary: Sara has secrets and they're catching up with her. GS pairing. Full of angst and everything else.
1. Chapter 1

Broken

By underworldromantic/tawnyteaser

Disclaimer: Not mine am making no money off this.

Spoilers: LHB, PWF, ITB

Author's Note: Okay people I've only seen Season 1 and 3, am waiting to rent Season 2 and am also waiting to buy Season 4 on DVD. SO if I miss anything please forgive.

Sara Sidle watched the rising sun with a heavy heart. Rejection hurt. Indifference hurt but to be kept out of the loop when you thought you knew someone hurt even more. She had discovered that Grissom was having surgery by accident. When she had asked him out to dinner she had seen the name on the index card and had gotten curious. Grissom hadn't looked sick so why would he need a doctor? Maybe a case but Sara hadn't thought so. When she had phoned and found out that Dr. Karen Roth was a hearing specialist Sara had known.

Now it was a month later and Grissoms' vacation was over and he was back to work, both Catherine and him acting as if nothing had happened. Sara sighed and pulled out her keys, intending to go home.

"Hey Grissom have you seen Sara?"

Grissom looked up from the paperwork in front of him. "Uh no Greg I think she was working on the Gordson case. Why?"

"Well it was just that I had her results and I thought that maybe she would want them tonight but I haven't seen her to give them to her."

"Did you try paging her?"

"Yes and it was turned off."

"Cell phone?"

"Also turned off."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow night about that, in the meantime put it in the file and leave it with me. I'll make sure she gets it."

Sara flicked on the air conditioning as the temperature had already reached the low twenties. She sighed as she drove thinking of all the things she could be doing right now. 'I could be a teacher somewhere, nah too boring. Umm, a CSI at the San Francisco lab, maybe.' Sara went thru the possibilities in her head, wondering what life had in store for her.

Little did she know that her life was changing already. A letter, a registered letter sat waiting for her at her house, a ticking time bomb filled with memories of the past, and full of life changing decisions.

Remember folks this is my first CSI fic so be gentle. I am Canadian so when I say low twenties it means 20 degrees Celsius


	2. Chapter 2

Broken

By underworldromantic/tawnyteaser

Dislaimer: Not mine

Spoiliers: Same as chap 1

Sara sighed as she pulled into her parking spot. "Another day another dollar." She muttered as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. She unlocked the door and bent down and undid the zipper to her boots before pulling them off and tossing them into a corner. She wiggled her toes and sighed. Normally she would have stayed and worked overtime but that was going to stop Sara vowed. She had to slowly start distancing herself.

"Gil Grissom." She said softly and went to her kitchen where she turned her coffee machine on. She was going to have a long shower then have a cup of coffee and maybe sleep. Sara sighed and went to her bedroom where she proceeded to strip.

The hot water beat down on Sara, washing away the night's ugliness. The pain of loving but not being loved in return.

All too soon to Sara's mind the hot water ran out, forcing her to end her shower. She grumbled as she threw on a tank top and shorts before padding back into the kitchen where a nice hot pot of coffee sat waiting for her. She poured herself a cup and inhaled the aroma. She walked over to her table where she had thrown the mail before and started sorting when a small brown envelope caught her eye. She put down her coffee and grabbed the envelope.

"Howard and Nilwalker Attorneys at Law?" Sara said to herself out loud. She noted the Montana address and slowly opened the letter, dreading the contents. Not sure but still dreading.

"I'm being summoned? Oh God." Sara said softly and collapsed on her couch. Her eyes went blank as she remembered. Remembered that weekend that changed her life forever.

Later that night......

Gil Grissom looked up as he heard a knock on the door. "Enter." He watched as Sara appeared as she opened the door. "Sara what can I do for you?" He watched with puzzlement as she seemed to hesitate. That was unlike Sara and Gil felt concern well up.

"Uh I'm going to be needing some time off. Umm, I'm going to need September 10 to the 23 off." Sara said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"That's only 2 weeks off, don't you think you should have given me more notice?"

Sara lifted her head and clenched her jaw. "I'm sorry but that's all the notice I can give you."

"May I ask why you need the time off on such short notice?" Gil tilted his head as he watched one of the strongest people he knew withdraw into herself.

"No." Sara said and turned and left.

Gil felt as if he'd been slapped. It was one thing for Sara to snap an answer at him when he got her riled, it was quite another for her to say it calmly, without emotion.

Sara walked down the hallway towards the break room her mind racing, her thoughts a jumble of different things. She didn't notice Warrick and Nick standing in the doorway until she bumped into them. "Sorry." She muttered and walked around them and sat down.

Warrick raised an eyebrow at Nick who just shrugged. They walked into the room and sat down at the table both looking at Sara.

"Hey girl what's up?" Warrick said softly. Sara just saying 'sorry' wasn't like her. Normally she would have made some crack comment or at least shot them a glare for blocking the way.

"Hmm? Oh nothing." Sara said and turned inwards again. Her eyes were shadowed and looked errily similar to what she had looked like after the lab explosion. Confused, dazed and mixed up. The day after her eyes had been dead, no emotion.

Nick looked worridly at Warrick. Something was up with Sara and she wasn't talking. Maybe Catherine would be able to make her talk.

Catherine walked into the break room and looked at the huddled group before her. Warrick and Nicky were both sitting close to Sara who was just looking spaced out. "Hey guys what's up?" She asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Not much." Warrick said and stood up. Nick followed suit and they each grabbed Catherine by the arm and dragged her outside into the hallway.

"Cath something's wrong with Sara but she's as close lipped as a clam. Could you maybe talk to her?"

Catherine looked back and forth between her two co workers. Both wore expressions of worry. "Uh sure I'll try." She said and walked back into the room and sat down beside Sara.

"Hey Sara what's up? You seem kinda down." Catherine said and took a sip of her coffee.

Sara looked up and stared at her co-worker. "You can just stop the act Catherine. We both know you don't like me, let alone care what's the matter. Warrick and Nick put you up to this so don't act like you care." Sara said bitterly. Her mind replaying Catherines' words in her head.

"I like you. I care." Catherine sputtered out. Her temper slowly rising.

Sara narrowed her eyes and smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. It was a feral smirk. "If you like me so much why is it that you've never acted like I was part of the team. You always seemed to imply that if anyone was bringing down this team it was me. Oh yes I heard about the comment about someone sniffing around. Then when Eddie died and we were talking to your daughter? Remember that night? I sure do. So you know what just save it Catherine. Save all your bull shit for someone who actually gives a damn about what you think about them. 'Cause I sure as hell don't. Now if you'll excuse me I forgot to do something." Sara said and left the room, not looking back.

Sara walked down the hallway and spotted Warrick and Nick in the visual room. She walked in and shut the door. "So guys when did you decide that I wasn't able to sort thru my problems and get Catherine to be my shrink?" She asked calmly and closed the distance separating them.

"Uhhh." Was all that came from Warrick.

"Sara we were worried." Nick said.

Sara walked over to Nick and poked a finger in his chest. "When I need help I'll ask for it. I don't need you guys to worry about me. That's what friends are for." Sara hissed out and stormed out of the room, slamming to door.

"She just implied that we're not friends." Nick said and looked at Warrick who had a solemn expression on his face.

"We gotta talk to Grissom about this." Nick said and left the room in search of Grissom who would be handing out assignments soon.

I know I know, it seems like they're out of character but are they? I mean look at how Catherine ripped Sara up and how she's always jumping on Sara. Nick and Warrick have their moments too. Grissom well he's Grissom.


	3. Chapter 3

Broken

By tawnyteaser

Disclaimer: Not mine, I wish

Author's Note/Spoilers: Any episode is fair game even season 4, haven't seen only read the script online. Sorry I keep getting distracted by different stories I want to write so I'm going to try to update more I promise.

Grissom grabbed the assignment sheets and glanced at the clock. Shift had just started which meant everyone should be in the breakroom.

Grissom had to admit that he was still a little puzzled over Sara's behavior

and her sudden need for a vacation. He opened his office door to see Warrick and Nick leaning against the wall opposite to his office.

"Uh did I miss another meeting?"

Both men looked at each other then back at Grissom.

"Uh, well its just-" Nick started to say

"Something's up with Sara." Warrick said.

"Boy you 'aint kidding." Catherine said as she too arrived at Grissom's office.

"That bad?" Grissom asked.

"She just bit my head off thank you very much."

"War and I can top that, Sara just implied that we weren't her friends."

Grissom looked at the three of his CSI's. "Can I just ask if anyone did anything to upset her? Say anything?"

"Uh no!" Catherine snapped out. "All I did was ask if she was okay and she snaps. She really is suicidal." Catherine muttered the last part under her breath but everyone still heard her.

Warrick and Nick both looked at her with mutual looks of disbelief while Grissom just sighed.

"That was both uncalled for and unprofessional. Warrick and Catherine DB at the corner of Weston and Brinkley, O'Reilly is there waiting for you. Nick your solo on a DFO at the Oasis gift shop. I'll take care of the other DB with Sara. Get to it guys."

Grissom went off and found Sara talking to Greg. He didn't want to say anything to her in the lab; that would just look bad.

"Come on Sara you're with me tonight." Grissom said and waited for her to follow him.

Sara rolled her eyes to Greg and then followed Grissom. She walked beside him in silence, not caring if anyone noticed that they weren't speaking. It still didn't stop her heart from racing at the closeness.

Grissom looked at Sara out of the corner of his eye. Something really was bothering her. Grissom didn't know if she was still seeing Hank or if she was seeing someone new, but Sara wasn't the type to bring her private life with her to work.

As soon as the Tahoe had merged with the traffic Sara shifted in her seat to look at Grissom.

"Look if you're taking me along to see if there's a reason why I said what I did to Catherine, Nick and Warrick you're going to have to ask them. The next question would have to be: is there anything bothering me? The answer would be: it won't affect my work."

Grissom looked over and saw that Sara had the 'don't mess with me look'. He swallowed and turned his attention back to the road. He was her supervisor yes, but he was also her friend....he hoped.

"Our DB was a Patricia Anjou. She was discovered by the mailman who was delivering the mail when he noticed Patricia lying in a pool of blood on the grass. He then was chased up a tree by her dog. Animal Control has taken the dog away so that we can process the scene."

"Why are we being called in if her dog killed her?" Sara asked.

"A crime is a crime whether its commited by beast or man. Or in this case if the dog was commanded to attack that would therefore involve a man thus a homicide."

"Yeah well some of the characters we do come across are more beast then man." Sara muttered. Her mind was still focused on the letter she had received. "So Grissom can I get my holiday?" Sara broke the silence.

Grissom looked at Sara. "If you really need it then of course you can, it's just that I need notice...more notice then two weeks." He paused. "We're here."

Even before Grissom had the SUV in park Sara was out and grabbing her kit.

Grissom sighed and grabbed his kit too before walking over to meet up with Brass and Sara.

"Hey glad you could make it." Brass said.

"Just get to the info." Sara said curtly.

Both Grissom and Brass's eyebrows rose, but Brass continued on.

"Patricia Anjou was a breeder and trainer of guard and attack dogs. Her rep is that the dogs she sold would obey without hesitation and are mean as hell. The one that killed her was a Great Dane, Doberman cross. Big and smart, a deadly combination. Anyways, neighbors said they never noticed anything suspicious. The mailman had to be sent to Desert Palm with a pretty nasty chunk taken out of his leg. The other dogs that Patricia had have all been taken away as well to be evaluated."

Sara nodded her head and turned to Grissom. "I've got the perimeter." She said and headed off.

"What's up with Sara?" Brass asked.

"Maybe she's having a bad day." Grissom suggested, not wanting to spread rumors.

"Sara's having a bad day. I'll buy. She's never spoken to me like that before." Brass said and walked away leaving Grissom to go over to the body.

"Fucking wonderful." Sara muttered under her breath as she walked around to the back of the yard where there were numerous kennels. She walked slowly around the sides and inspected the doors and sides trying to see if they had been tampered with or the doors had been left open. She bent down and noticed a piece of paper lying underneath some leaves. She grabbed some gloves and put them on before picking the piece of paper up.

"French. Commands maybe. Hmm." Sara murmmered to herself as she bagged the piece of paper. She stood up and heard a low growl. She raised her eyes and saw a big black dog standing not four feet from her. 'Shit.' The dogs head was lowered and lips curled back to reveal large canines. A big spiked collar added to the overall fierceness of the dog.

Sara took a slow step backwards but stopped when she saw the dog tense. She glanced down at the paper in her hand and back towards the front of the house where she knew Grissom to be. Maybe he knew French. "Uh Grissom!" Sara shouted and wished she hadn't when the dog crouched and bunched its muscles. It was preparing to attack and all she could do was run. Her gun was in the Tahoe, she hadn't thought she would need it with a dog attack, and finding out that all the dogs had been taken away had reinforced her decision. Damn she hated it when she was proved wrong.

Grissom looked up from his examinations of Patricia as he heard Sara shout his name. He heard panic in her voice and rose quickly. "Brass?!" Grissom shouted and drew his gun and carefully walked around to the back of the house with Brass following him, gun drawn as well.

Sara saw out of the corner of her eye Grissom appearing and saw the dog take notice too. 'Shit. Good thing I have my boots on not my heels.' She thought and grabbed a rock and threw it at the dog before taking off at a dead run.

Grissom felt his eyes widen as he took in the size of the dog. He'd seen big dogs before, hell a Great Dane had jumped up on him before but this dog was larger, much larger and it was ready to attack.

"Shit." Brass said quietly as he too took in the situation.

The two men watched as the dog turned its head and looked at them, teeth still barred and growls still rumbling in its' throat. They watched as a rock came flying at the dog's head before they saw Sara take off at a run. The dog gave up on them and took off after her.

'In and out, in and out.' Sara chanted in her mind as she sprinted across the grass and hopped fences and ran. She could hear the dog chasing her and she hoped that she was the one that was faster. She cut down the side walk and took another sharp corner using the walls of the fence to bounce her back on course. She saw the flashing lights and hoped she would make it.

"GRISSOM! BRASS!" She screamed out as she ran back towards the primary crime scene.

"Grissom man here she comes." Brass said as they watched the CSI run down the street at a full sprint. They had prepared the rest of the black and whites and rifles were waiting for the dog.

Sara risked a glance over her shoulder and saw the white teeth of the dog before she turned fully to take the brunt of the attack in the chest rather then in the back. She felt the hot breath of the dog and protected her throat from being ripped out by bringing her forearm up. She felt the teeth bite in a bit her lip as the pain exploded. Sara felt stars explode behind her eyes as she fell and hit her head on the cement.

She was disorientated for a second and this allowed the dog to free it's teeth to try again for her throat. Sara rolled and the teeth found there way into her shoulder. She used her free hand to try and push the dog off but it had to weigh as much as she did, or more. Sara heard the shots and felt the dog go limp. She sighed and pushed the dead weight off her and sat up slowly, breathing in slowly. Her head hurt. Her shoulder hurt, hell everything hurt if she was going to be honest.

"Sara are you alright?" Grissom asked breathlessly as he ran up to her. He noted the blood staining her shirt and felt his stomach clench.

"Paramedics are on their way Sara just take it easy." Brass said as he knelt down and used his hankerchief to try and stanch some of the blood. "Did the dog only get you on your shoulder? I saw you bring your arm up."

"Hmm? Um yeah, it got my other arm too." Sara murmured out. Her vision was kind of blurry and her chest hurt. It was getting harder to breath too.

"I think I'm going to take a nap now." She whispered out and fainted.

Brass caught Sara around the back before she fell and hit her head again. "She's one tough cookie you got there Gil."

"She's not mine Jim."

"She could be. If you'd give it a chance."

"There's the fact that I'm her boss, and who says that I-"

"You just admitted that the only thing stopping you is the fact that you're her boss."

"I'm scared. Out of all my friends, people I know, even you; she's the only one who can hurt me."

"Gil that's what love is. I know that you're not really a religious man but there's a passage I'd read every time I'd have problems. 1 Corinthians, verse 13." Brass said quietly and continued to put the pressure on Sara's shoulder wound as the paramedics arrived, forcing Grissom to stand back.

"Desert Palm." One of the EMT's said to Grissom before the back doors were shut by Brass.

"I'll notify the team and get Ecklie to take over this one." Brass said and got into his car.

Grissom walked back to the crime scene but stopped when he realized he couldn't enter it. What had happened to Sara was a crime thus he couldn't enter it as he was no longer the CSI investigating the case...cases. He sighed and grabbed his kit from the front and climbed into the Tahoe. He spotted Sara's gun sitting on the floor in the shadows. "Why Sara?" was all he could ask as he drove, his mind fixated on Sara running towards him her eyes full of fear, her turning and seeing those gleaming white teeth before both of them falling. Grissom gripped the steering wheel harder and pushed the pedal down harder. He flicked on the red and blues and drove as fast as he could.

Catherine walked into the DNA lab and found Greg there on the phone with somebody. "Hey Greg, this is on the clock, so finish up." Catherine normally wouldn't have cared but her earlier discussion with Sara still had her kind of pissy.

Greg glared and motioned for her to sit.

Warrick looked at Catherine as he walked into the lab as well. Nick followed soon after. They all listened in, not caring.

"So she's okay though right? NO?! What's her status? She's being prepped for surgery? Serious....yeah they're here now.....yeah I'll tell them......uh huh.....can you phone me and let me know when you have an update? Thanks Brass." Greg hung up the phone and turned to face the three CSI's.

"That was Brass-"

"I think we could figure that out." Catherine said sarcastically.

"Why don't you shut up and listen for once. That was Brass and he's on his way, following Grissom who is also on his way to Desert Palm."

"Is Grissom alright?" Nick asked worriedly.

"He's fine but Sara's not. The scene they were at was supposed to have been secure. Anyways there was a dog it was going to attack Grissom and Brass, Sara threw a rock and took off. The dog followed. The next thing Brass knows, Sara's running down the street the dog gaining and she turns just as the dog leaps. It did some pretty good damage, broke her Radius, Ulna and the second bite took out her clavicle, broke her top two ribs and pierced her lung. As of this moment she's in critical condition and being prepped for emergency surgery to reinflate her lung."

"Is she going to make it?" Warrick asked.

"Touch and go right now. They think she might have sustained a concussion from when she hit her head on the road but that's the least of her problems right now."

Grissom was frustrated. They wouldn't tell him anything other then the extent of her injuries, they wouldn't tell him if she would live or die, only 'she's touch and go'. He hated hospitals. Even having his surgery on his ears it still bugged him. He sighed and went to the hospital chapel. He found a bible and flipped it to the passage Brass had mentioned.

**Love is patient; love is kind  
and envies no one.  
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;  
never selfish, not quick to take offense.  
There is nothing love cannot face;  
there is no limit to its faith,  
its hope, and endurance.  
In a word, there are three things  
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;  
but the greatest of them all is love.**  
  
** 1 Corinthians 13**

Grissom felt his chest tighten. This was Sara. It had been written a long time ago but it was about Sara. He had turned her down for dinner and she had taken it in stride and told him that he might be too late, and in this instant he might be. He wiped his eyes as he felt his pager go off. It could be one of the CSI's but Grissom had also given the number to the nurse who said she would page him when she had more information about Sara. He glanced down and felt his hope plummit.

'DOT REVIVED ICU HURRY'

"Not now Sara. Not now." He said and rushed towards the ICU.

TBC

DOT was the only thing I could think of to make died on table shorter. In real life I have no idea what they use. Hmm. Anyways review if you like or don't.


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